The True Reason why People Don't Heal - 14th Oct 2017

The True Reason why People Don't Heal

WHY SOME PEOPLE DON'T HEAL –
HOW CHILDHOOD TRAUMA CAN BE TRANSFORMED THERE IS HOPE

 

For 13 years now Paru has been observing patterns in people's healing and soon will release abook. But recently came across some amazing insight from a doctor that confirms her findings.

The words healing and health find their root in the Anglo-Saxon word for wholeness—no accident, since the source of much illness is precisely the loss of wholeness induced by trauma, whether subtle or overt. That loss, too, is the source of the distress that many of seek so fervently to escape by the many seductions Western culture offers to the emotionally and spiritually bereft. As the spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle has written,The emotional patterns we learn as small children, he says, live on in the cells of our minds and come back to us as adults.

Basically, all emotions are modifications of one primordial, undifferentiated emotion that has its origin in the loss of awareness of who you are beyond the name and form. You are running an unconscious pattern, lower self and until you meet your higher self, essence or source, healing doesn't always happen. It's truly hard to establish what emotions you are repressing, but “Fear” comes close, but apart from a continuous sense of threat, it also includes a deep sense of abandonment and incompleteness. It may be best to use a term that is as undifferentiated is the basic emotion and simply call it “pain.”One of the main tasks of the mind is to fight or remove that emotional pain, which is one of the reasons for its incessant activity, but all it can ever achieve is to cover it up temporarily.Trauma in childhood causes disconnect from your body and doesn't allow you to be present.

Carolyn Myss says that people don'theal because they keep the consciousness of the illness by repeating the illness. When we don't want to feel the deep sadness, grief or anger, we go into our heads and make a story of it, cause it's safer. Brandon Bays healed a tumour when she came to a true forgiveness, felt the emotions that hadn't really been felt and moved on beyond acceptance.

Facts proven by Dr Gabor Mate who had many years experience in the field of addiction and the medical field in pallative care before people died, observed these facts.

'People who have a chronic illness of any kind — cancer, multiple sclerosis, rheumatoid arthritis, fibromyalgia, inflammatory bowel disease, chronic neurological and skin disorders — often fit certain personality profiles. For example, they tend to pay a lot more attention to the needs of others than to their own. They get caught up in their job or their role as a caregiver rather than looking after themselves. They also tend to suppress the so-called negative emotions, such as sadness and anger. They try not to acknowledge these emotions even to themselves. And, finally, they tend to think they are responsible for how other people feel and to be terrified of disappointing others who are important to them. Repressed anger is a learned response in childhood to maintain relationship with parents and affects the immune system and can also cause autoimmune disorders.

Is there a connection between the ability to express emotions and Alzheimer’s disease

“  Mr. Reagan’s emotional poverty and his need to cocoon himself against reality can be understood as the responses of a sensitive child to the trauma of living with an alcoholic, unreliable father and an emotionally absent mother. At an early age, he distanced himself from the vulnerability of genuine emotion by hiding behind sentiment and learned to maintain a surface tranquillity by failing to recognize his own emotional pain or that of others.  “

If my relationship with my parents demands that I become their caregiver because they’re alcoholics, then I’ll likely become a chronic caregiver and will ignore my own needs. The children of alcoholics suffer a lot from anxiety, depression, and physical illness because of how they cope. But they had no choice but to cope that way.

In the attachment relationship we also learn who we are: Are we good? Are we bad? Are we acceptable? Are we worthwhile? All of this depends not on what the parent thinks of us but on how the parent unconsciously acts toward us. If my parents enjoy me, then I’ll have good self-esteem. If my parents are so stressed and worried and depressed that they can’t enjoy me, even if they love me, then I will have low self-esteem, because children invariably make everything about themselves'.

This is so true in the 13 years of running Shunyata and in my own life. I was desperately seeking the approval of my alcoholic father until the age of 40, so I succeeded in everything for him, thought I was ok in society because I was successful, became a workaholic and lost custody of my son.These are rash statements but have proved themselves time and time again in the 13 years of healing at Shunyata. The most common type of person is that that judges or represses anger and ends up with depression or can end up with cancer. A learnt belief from childhood.The types that have deep unmet grief or sadness, often won't admit they feel it because of pride, and end up trying to earn love by giving and caring.   But then 90% of the lies are the lies we tell ourselves owing to unconcious behaviours like pride which I have seen a lot in myself and others who come to the retreat.  Pride, I believe, not reaching out for help, is one of the reasons so many people are suiciding these days.

Half way through running this retreat, I was in this category myself, and asked for what was stopping me from waking up, 2 weeks later I got candida, and thanks to doterra essential oils – went deeper into the repression of saying no, strong enough to clients. Now this was a hidden through pride and something I wouldn't admit to as I thought I had strong boundaries. I was the wounded healer, a lot of my self worth was attached to helping people and I thought I had done all the work on this.I was very blessed in many ways though to receive a legacy from my own mother, the martyr who went on to having 25 years of strokes from the age of 50, not to be a superwoman – it doesn't pay off. Pride stops us from really owning our pain. Myself,until 30 didn't even think there was anything wrong with me because my life was successful.My wake up call, took me deeper into the truth of the trauma of growing up with an alcoholic father who was emotionally unavailable and a tragic dramatic mother who was always too busy. I had to truly own the effect it had on my early life and own the suffering, anger and victim I was carrying inside.

After all this research done by Dr Gabor Mate, who I have followed in the field of addiction and was so full of truth, I feel so blessed and priveleged to know that people, including myself,  can raise their consciousness and heal. They can meet their higher selves and break these unconcious patterns with awareness and thejourneymethod. This is what we do here at Shunyata and sometimes these patterns are not in this life but in a past life so past life regression is needed  My amazing one was on anger that I had carried through from a past life.. But there is hope and if you know of anyone who fits this common thread and can't shift an illness – I feel blessed to hold their hands and bring them home to their true selves.

In the book “Dying to be me” Anita Moorjani, proves it. When she has a miracoulus healing and comes home to herself. I have heard it in Satsangs with Mooji, when people finally meet their true selves, diseases like liymes disease heals. Time and time again this consciousness truly works. Yes it is also important to remove sugar from our diets, alkaline ,change our way of living,slow down, establish our ayurveda type for body mind soul balance, repair our gut and therefore our immune system ,do a detox , meditate and exercise and take doterra essential oils to help this -but clearing the trauma, from childhood and breaking the unconscious patterns of behaviour and coming back to our trueselves with thejourneymethod is crucial in healing.

This is where the doterra oils come in. They help people to forgive, to let go of repressed sadness and anger and truly come to their essence.When we are in our true selves magic happens. When I finally forgave my ex husband for terrorising me for 10 years and taking custody of my child, I exited the victim mode and magic started to happen in my life, hence why I came home to do thejourneymethod in my own country.

Hopefully you don't wait for an illness or your wake up call to start feeling your feelings like I did.
Hopefully some of this article rings truth in you and you finally put yourself first in self care, not
taught by this society and do this for yourself.So whether you are not healing from an illness, an anxiety or depression that  can't seem to move, or a heavyness you carry on your chest from a deep hurt and sadness you are not aware of, – this work that I feel so humbled to do here at Shunyata really works. Look forward to meeting you and your highest self. Namaste.

email info@journeyessence.com or tel 03 3294773 or txt 0272 777734 I would be
honoured to help you come home to your true self


 

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