Don’t Give Up on Love – A Healthy Relationship is your Birthright - 15th Mar 2021

Don’t Give Up on Love – A Healthy Relationship is your Birthright

Relationship Coach New Zealand


It breaks my heart to observe many people who come to Shunyata have given up on relationships and love in general and are adamant that love does not work for them.They shut down their heart and continue living a half life.Love is the most important thing on this planet and when we shut down on just a very narrow prospective of the huge power of love we never get to taste the nectar of the highest form of love inside of ourselves.

This topic is on how you can grow with a partner to rise in love for your relationship but also for the higher good. If you haven’t heard this before, we are in relationship to heal our childhood wounds or wounds collected in life from previous relationships and until we feel these wounds, expose these wounds, we will keep moving from one relationship to another collecting more wounds and protecting ourselves again and again adding to a wall around our heart called the heart shaped wall. When we live behind this wall we are doing a great disservice to ourselves,life and our purpose, cause it takes all your lifeforece to keep this wall up.

This shutdown happened to me 30 years ago in Byron Bay. I had a my deepest wakeup call and the most painful experience ever and I feel I gave up on life for nearly 10 years. Something in me didn’t want to give up on love – so after a group in India called Path of Love and the Journey method where I forgave my ex husband ,in came David Deida to town,  who is and was the world relationship guru specialising in openeness in relationships. I finally met this deep wound and opened and learnt the importance of openenss in life in general.

To have a meaningful and deep relationship with someone – we need to honest with our feelings and be vulnerable and to expose these wounds is very painful. The only way to do this is to feel in a safe place and to be truly kind to ourselves, to our inner child and to be honest. But the payback is worth it, with this courage we can come home to ourselves and clear that wound for good by feeling it and exposing it. This is emotional intelligence which is taught in The Journey method. Vulnerability and truth creates TRUE INTIMACY. We then RISE IN LOVE.

Embracing our vulnerability is very risky, but owning it with courage is the only way to come back home to ourselves. Allow yourselves to show up and let yourself be seen in this vulnerability. Vulnerability is true strength and yet we have patterns that are stopping this. When you really expose your wounds you feel this oneness and connection with the other. Unless we deal with the pain, we carry it into the next relationship and are more guarded and test the other person. We become controlling so it won’t happen again.

Ask yourself where is my deepest woundedness inside?
Do you feel rejected, abandoned or someone died and a huge hole is left inside?
Maybe in childhood you were not seen or accepted for who you truly were?
Maybe everyone was too busy for you?

These wounds come up in all relating with all people not only in relationships.

Recently I had my ex parnter’s grandson to stay and he was reactive and angry and abusive when I asked him to do something for me. When he became this way – I was triggered and on reflection and meditation I discovered that my whole childhood was fraught with violence and anger and I had made a vow not to have this in my life. I noticed in my life I would hang out with peaceful people who also hated confrontation and when that anger would rise, I would react back with anger or shut down. On going inside and being very kind to my inner child, I opened and cleared this wound and was so grateful for him bringing it up.

How do you defend against your vulnerability?
Do you become mistrustful, critical, attacking or do you disappear ?

We build our protection this heart shaped wall around our heart not to let anyone in again and it takes all our energy to keep it in place. Relationships are the mirror so why avoid them if we truly want to evolve in this lifetime?

At Shunyata we go back and give kindness and compassion to that inner child to the one that truly needs it and she feels safe to come back out of hiding. She can be that love so she doesn’t need to keep seeking on the outside.

If this resonates with your being either come for a Ultimate Healing Day if in Christchurch or a retreat at Shunyata alone or with your partner.  Go to my website and chose which path you want to take on this journey of love.
https://www.journeyessence.com/

Paru has just started up a free fb group and would love you to join us.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/parusempoweringwisdom
#relationshipcoach#couplescounselling#

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