Confused About Love - Sick of doing the Same Thing Over & Over - 9th Apr 2014

Confused About Love - Sick of doing the Same Thing Over & Over

A Higher Love - What is it really?

Many of us are longing for that soul mate, that person to grow with and yet what are we doing to sabotage it. Maybe you're already in a relationship and it's not fulfilling you and you feel alone. Wherever you are at hopefully these points will help you get clearer.

First of all what is an enlightened healthy relationship. For me it has a higher purpose in mutual awakening and participation in conscious evolution. Lifting the relationship to a higher ground and it's not always comfortable and beyond romantic infatuation. But your joint purpose is to serve humanity from your higher self and you have a mirror to help you in this and take you back to this when you go off into ego patterns etc.

For many of us women who are longing to live this relationship we need to take responsibility for why we are not attracting it. We can complain that our partner is not spiritual enough, this can be a sort of spiritual arrogance, go and live what you want to follow and let him live what he wants to follow. Maybe you have evolved and left him behind and then you need to truly ask yourself what is more important for you. But for us that is calling this into our lives – here is some tips on how we can be ready in ourselves.

Don't kid yourselves ladies – all our integrity goes out the door when we romantically fall in love.
So make it your prayer to rise in love. Get your closest trustable friends to tell you the truth if this relationship is serving you after 6 months and listen. Get really clear on what you want in a relationship and share it at the beginning – and if you are not on the same paths, or if you let illusion not let you hear that he isn't, then you will be creating more suffering for yourself again.

1. Get real about all the core beliefs, the sabotages and the blocks that have happened in past relationships and come and clear out ego patterns that are not serving you. Most of them are rooted in childhood and we keep repeating them, until we say enough. These are things like unworthiness, control, self righteousness, pride, fixing the other, putting the other on a pedestal and balancing the ability to be able to receive and not give. Get radically authentic with yourself and commit to authenticity. Clear back what is not serving you and just be yourself. You know that a partner is good for you if you are just being yourself.

2. For a woman to stay in her power she needs to connect to her higher power, her divine so when men,who are so clear, speak – she can say her truth and not always stay quiet. “All of life is organising around my success and it's safe for me to say what I feel and think.”

3. Most of us women are very strong and independent and are not open to ask for help and also to receive support. This is very unattractive to the masculine. We come into relationship to carry each other's burdens. We need to surrender to love – not to the man. Is he on the train you want to jump on.

For the people in relationship some practices for them both if their intention is a higher mission for conscious evolution.
1.Get clear on why you are together. Are we comitted to live from our evolved edges? How can we use each other to grow and awaken?

2.We agree to be a mirror for each other. To praise each other and to serve each others higher self. I love you and I see this potential in you. This is done through unconditional love and challenge but in the most kind and caring way rather than judgement and criticism. We don't often see our own blocks. To show where our behaviour is not consistent with our higher values.

3. We then live in this authenticity and model for other people. When a pattern shows up in the other that causes a reaction in us,to really ask if we are living it in ourselves. How can we be a catalyst for change in the world. The old quote – “be the change you want to see in the world.” We all know ourselves how inspired we become when people are living what they are teaching. I say this as much as possible, we are still human and not to go to self righteousness.

 Paru has recently returned from the ISTA Consciousness and Sexuality Conference and nearly every workshop was centred  around  the relationship we have with ourselves.  We look for the other to fill our holes and we are the only one who can really do this.

My deepest prayer in this lifetime is that I live from this authentic place and help others to evolve their own relationships in this integral, authentic way.

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