Why Romantic Love Doesn't Work - 1st May 2013

Why Romantic Love Doesn't Work

Living a Conscious Healthy Love

Recently in Christchurch a woman's daughter was murdered by a guy she fell in love with, not knowing that he had murdered before.  Also another lady in her 50's was caught in Argentina with cocaine carried by her for a man she met on the internet.  We could go on and on about how woman are blinded when
they fall in love.   We are addicted to what we think love is - does Romantic love work?


If you have managed to cruise through life without a betrayal and without problems in your love life
then maybe this is not for you but  after 9 years of working with people ,I realised that most of us really have had many hurt hearts that have shutdown  and painful times around love so if you are ready to hear the truth - then keep reading.  I understand if you want to stop here now, I also resisted it for years and kept suffering.

Who am I to be writing about this subject - I call myself Acharya - which means educated through the depths of personal experience.  My ego type was the Tragic Romantic, Drama queen and I have had
50 odd  years of living in this illusion and hopefully moving beyond it.   I decided after one too many
broken love affair, that I would do a masters  on this word love. My deepest intention for this lifetime is to live a more conscious, unconditional, freeing love which comes from being that love myself
and ultimately help other woman to unchain their illusion of love and empower them to serve a more real love.  Don't get me wrong - I still love romantic love  and the tear jerking movie, but not when it is running me and where I am lying to myself.  Falling in love is an unconscious pattern, being in love makes us feel safe and secure.

What our pattern in love and relationships usually comes clear in the enneagram -  www.enneagraminstitute.com  (basically a study of ego types)  This study of character fixation, deeper than personality is what I have been working with in the last 15 years.  It is the core of each and everyones patterns of suffering and there are 9 different types.
The 2,3 & 4  - the emotional types will do everything they can to get love and until they know they are this love they will self betray, feel lonely and constantly feel an abandonment that they try to fill with love.  The 9 will please for love and not speak how they truly feel and then when the relationship is over will be so angry.  The  8 will bully there way to get what they want.  These are all unconscious patterns that run is - true unconditional love is an adjective, a feeling - everything else is trying to get it from the outside.  Woman love to stay in the illusion that a prince on a white horse will come and rescue her and she will never have to worry again.  Admit it ladies, it's hard to let go.

How sick of this story are you, when do you truly want to grow up and break this pattern.  I don't mean
shutting down your heart to the world, but getting real with yourself on how you have been blinded by love.

 We are trying to get love from the outside to fill our lonliness, our unworthiness and our illusion, but has it ever worked.  How can a man love us if we don't truly love ourselves.  It  will always bring emotional abuse and betrayal..  It is not about blaming the other for our feeling of separation. We need to let go of  our conditioning i.e to what we learnt from our parents and come from less of a mind centred ego wanting ,to a heart longing which feeds the soul.  This can be accessed through The Journey.  Here we remove the blockages that stop us from knowing we are love.

Love is a continuous state of being, no rules, becoming what you want.  It is about  self acceptance and self love.  It takes a lot of courage to be emotionally honest with self.  Love is freedom itself, the other is a mirror to see what you don't like about your loving.  When we truly spend time alone after a relationship break up and our intention is to grow up, we can see where we lied to ourself in romantic love.  I saw layers and layers of this after my last relationship breakup that I thought was the most conscious & growing relationship I had ever been in.  I had put him up on a pedestal - he was my god.  This is not true.  We are all equal.

Can you be that love, that joy,on your own - or are you going to constantly seek it outside of yourself.
It takes courage to truly be alone and be honest with yourself but it also takes honest friendships that will hold us to our illusions.  If you don't want this - this is your choice but I promise you will keep suffering in relationship.  We owe it to ourselves and  all of our sisters to move beyond the illusion of romantic love and serve the masculine from more of a healthy loving.  From this goddess  place we will serve men to love in integrity. 

Women need to live their joy, follow their passion and open their heart and then we are serving the weary warrior of the masculine and the world in general.

“The way of love is not
a subtle argument.

The door there
is devastation.

Birds make great sky-circles
of their freedom.
How do they learn it?

They fall, and falling,
they're given wings.”

― Rumi

If you are ready to break your pattern around unhealthy unconcious love  and become empowered again as a goddess call Paru 3294773
or email info@journeyessence.com


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